jen spencer coaches


Your attachment is getting in the way of your success
05 06 14, 11:14 am
Filed under: General, Growth + Development, Thought-Provoking

You are really passionate. You know what you want to make happen and how it should go down. You’ve envisioned, planned and acted to make your goals a reality. Yet you keep hitting your head against resistance from yourself or others.

You might be experiencing attachment. It’s something we all deal with.

Most of the time we talk about attachment in the context of parenting. Attachment helps our children of today become the secure humans of tomorrow. At some point, they (ideally) will healthily detach from us and become our own people, adults who grow and evolve. Two people can have similar upbringings but make very different choices and end up with very different lives.

The same needs to happen with visions and goals.

Attachment helps us laser-focus and power through the hard part of starting out an endeavor, innovation, project, etc. But at some point, the attachment that helps us get through that first tough wave can get in the way of accomplishing goals.

I’ve witnessed the great “aha” and traction when people give up their attached perceptions and expectations and open up to another way.

It could be someone who realizes he could start his own business and achieve the happiness and fulfillment he thought came only from working at a large “stable” company. Or maybe it’s someone who thought she would have to leave her current employer to do the work she loved – until she saw how she could present the business case for a new role to keep her at a company she loves while doing the work she’s passionate about.

Goals = Intention + Unattachment

In this context, Intention = Action + Unattachment = Openness.

We need passion and focus and action to make goals come to life. But when you assume that you know exactly the way a goal has to happen, you lose the opportunity and gift of uncertainty and the unknown. When there is no uncertainty, conviction can become extremism. And I don’t know many people who gravitate toward extremism. It’s isolating and leaves little room for creativity and magic.

“Without uncertainty, life is just the repetition of outworn memories. There’s no evolution in that, and when there is no evolution, there is stagnation, entropy, and decay.”
Deepok Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Letting go of attachment requires trust in yourself and those around you.

I invite you to look around and take a peek inside. Are you letting the gift of uncertainty and possibility grace your work and life? Or are you micromanaging your goals to come to life?

The ability to bring more openness to your work can help you see things you never might have imagined possible.

And that is my hope for you and us all.

 

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